Brace Yourself: I’m Still Writing About Knitting.

Oh and braces – get it – brace yourself. I really must stop explaining my punlicious post titles…

Anyway… BRACES

Next week on Wednesday 2nd December 2009, I have my next appointment at the orthodontist and I am having my fixed braces removed. This will be just ten days short of two years after the date they were fitted. The original report quoted the treatment would take two years and in my ever optimistic naivety, I thought that was just to manage expectations and it would never take that long.

The orthodontist has pretty much admitted defeat on a number of things he was trying to fix. My bite is still slightly out of line and I still have two quite hefty gaps in my back teeth where adult teeth are missing and the jawbone proved too insubstantial to drag the very back teeth into the gaps.

This dental defeat is a bit of a disappointing end to two years work. BUT, the reason I got the braces was to correct some very peculiar and noticeable issues with my canine teeth that are now correct, so I need to remember that. Good has come of the exercise. It seems that to correct the bite and the other gaps could involve extractions/crowns and a lot more corrective work that I’m not happy about getting involved with. I’ve served my time as far as I can tell and got most of what I wanted out of it all... So, decision is made and as of next Wednesday – my braces will be gone!

Yesterday, as the first stage in preparation for this austere occasion, I went to the orthodontist to get bonded retainers fitted. I gather these can take various forms, but mine are in the form of two tiny gold chains glued to the back of twelve of my teeth (one tiny gold chain glued to the back of my six upper front teeth and one tiny gold chain glued to the back of the six lower front teeth).

It is designed to stop the teeth shifting into their old positions. I don’t understand how and it feels horrible. The chains, as I say, are tiny, but the glue feels very clumpy and odd. I must be used to having my mouth treated like a junkyard, because as horrid as it feels, I am getting used to it after less than a day. Just as well - this latest fixture is supposed to be permanent...Aaargh, the horror. All those times I got down in the dumps and whined that my orthodontic torture seemed like it would never end. Ha, it seems as if I was right and I do in fact have a lasting double gold chain souvenir… Thank You Mr Ash, Orthodontic Consultant, Whipp’s Cross Hospital.

So it is 8 days to brace-off. I will undoubtedly be using that as a fine excuse to get rat arsed. I’m wondering if I should have asked the orthodontist to chain the lot up, just leaving a little gap big enough for a straw for booze.

The following Wednesday, I pick up the gum shield retainers that I'll have to sleep in for the next year or so... (Yes, I get those too.) Not looking forward to that either, but hey ho.

The removal of my braces does leave a rather tragic gap in my comedy set. Perhaps it will be some sort of catalyst to me spending some time coming up with new material. Perhaps not. Watch this space.

KNITTING: See Sproglet’s Blog for very funny write up of our trip to the wool shop and how I learnt to cast on using youtube videos. Yes, I’ve started work on a scarf for her now and after only two and a bit days, it is already around 20 inches long. I am knitting on gas.

It has not escaped my notice that despite a few whisperings from the bo-ho chic circles saying that knitting was back as a cool hobby to have a few years ago, (around the time I started my other scarf…Hmmm) – yeah, even if one or two people did say it was meant to be cool in 2007, I am the only person doing it on the 56 bus in 2009 and I probably do look like a bit of a twat.

Rome was not built in a day. I know - I’ve been there! If I have to knit on the bus to get my Sproggles neck all warm and snuggly this side of Crimbo, then knit on the bus, I will. I'm sure I don't look that hot when I use bus journey time to snooze and drool all over the window, so knitting could be an improvement if anything.

Lovely. I need to go. Drinking in Stamford Hill again tonight... Will this "FUN" never end? I hope not!

My Scarf

I know I posted about the scarf already.

But I just have to say, I really love my scarf. Lots of different people have shown an interest in it. It is cosy and warm and it has made me feel refreshed about lots of different things.

It is something tangible that I made and I get to say "Look I did this."

Admittedly, the three year production timescale is a little bit of a shocker and I'm fairly sure there are much more time and cost effective ways of coming by scarves: at the shops for one! That doesn't seem to matter - seeing as for a while there, I thought it would never get finished and when I eventually put the hours in and now I have a smashing new scarf... Well to me it represents possibility!

Ha yeah Scarves = Possibility. Put that maths in your pipe and smoke it.

Becki says I need to be a little bit careful of getting addicted to knitting. She says she went there once and it gets to be a dark and lonely place after a while. She even says it can age you.

That was after she'd made me promise to knit her one. So we are off to the wool shop tomorrow.

Angels

I was in Marks and Spencer this morning.

The lady serving at the tills there saw me hovering with my basket and said quite loudly to me...

"Over here Angel"

She proceeded to call me Angel at least once more, maybe even twice during our brief exchange and all in all I was quite flattered by that.

I came back to the office and told my mate Chris this, he said 'patronising... patronising and common.' Chris has very high customer service standards!

The thing is and I told Chris this too... As I had walked away from the lady's till, I wondered if Angel was an appropriate way to address a customer and if she called everyone that. Either way, it made me feel nice and that was the important thing I supposed. Just as I was mulling all this over, the same checkout lady called across to another customer who was waiting.

"Over here Madam!"

I glanced across to the customer who had been addressed as Madam and she was probably only ten or fifteen years older than me.

Well, I'd rather be an Angel than a Madam any day and with that much, Chris was inclined to agree.

Back

I'm back.

I'm grumpy as hell about it. I will get over myself in due course... I just never adjust well to those first few days of normality...

Rome was great. I'll put some pics up soon, when I get around to getting them on to my poota.

Anyway, what a great city and also it was just lovely to hang out with Mum, Dad, Anutie Marion and Uncle Keithy.

OK, better go... Fings to do :)

My New Scarf and other bits about the week.

So I'm off tomorrow on my Italian mini break with my Mum and Dad. I'll be back on Wednesday night.

All it has been a pretty good week.

Gigs 59 and 60 were good. Well Party Piece (59) wasn't all that. My own fault: I jibber jabbered, which sometimes works. On Tuesday it didn't though. I just felt a bit guilty for being rubbish and copping out early. Having said that, there were not many audience there, so no point in getting too caught up in the guilt of it all.

Wednesday's Headway gig (60) at The Water Poets was amazing. Really lovely warm crowd. I got a lovely reception, good feedback after and managed to remember my words. I threw in a few happy ad libs that got laughs too. Some chick in the front (I think she was another comic actually from "The Silky Pair") coughed over my 'you can even give blowjobs' line, so I was worried the point was muffled, but I teased her about it and wondered what she was coughing on and that made it all funny again before the disclaimer ending...

After the gig I went drinking with the other comics including Duncan Oakley and Silky (no relation to The Silky Pair) Duncan and Silky have been going years and I felt all cheerful with myself for being out with the "big guns" (paid acts) and it was plain lovely as everyone had such a smashing time at the gig and after. We stayed out drinking until gone 2 in the morning.

Thursday was my last day at work until next Thursday. Ace!!

Friday was family fun day with lovely niecey in Brighton. Nan, Grandpa and Auntie JoJo took Mia to The Sealife Centre as the weather wasn't up to much. The Sealife Centre seemed quite cool. Not amazing or anything and we could only see what a child, who isn't even two yet, wanted us to see, so I'm not sure I made it to every nook and cranny, but overall the day was good. Mia has lots of new words and if you ask if she is ok? She says 'fine.' Even I have to admit that is cute!!

Today I hung around at my folks house. I was determined to finish knitting my scarf and finish knitting it I did... Oh yeah... Scarf pride...

I know you can't see the ends, but I promise it is all done! Only 3 years it took...After finishing the scarf. I went swimming (80 more lengths.) Then a quick stop at the shops on the way back home.

OK as important as I realise it is to keep you updated on my knitting and swimming progress, right now I really ought to be getting packed. Dad will be here to pick me up at 9 am tomorrow and I don't even think the washing has got dry properly yet.

Now where is that suitcase?

See you soon peeps xxx

Giving Myself A Pat On The Back

2 gigs down, 2 to go of my mini November Tour...

Saturday was fine. Nice little gig in Piccadilly Circus. And Sunday was well. Perhaps you should read This. I did say I was a tad nervous about the gig in High Wycombe.

If it tells us anything, it tells us what a fantastic friend I have in Becki.

Thanks love xxx

Acting like a girly.

Has anyone seen my plimsoles?

Of course you have. Anyone that has seem me, has seen my plimsoles and my jeans and my vast collection of tatty t-shirts and probably a hoody or a scruffy old cardi for good measure.

Well every now and again, I leave the plimsoles at home and I put on my girly shoes. In the past this has been rare, but it seems to be becoming a bit more regular. This week is of particular note. Not only did I leave my plimsoles at home, I left my jeans at home too. I didn't stumble out of the flat so drunk I went out in my jimjams. No...I wore a dress. Yes you read right, I wore a dress... Well not one dress, but two. Not two at the same time neither...

On two separate occasions this week I have worn a dress and tights and girly shoes: On Saturday I went to a really cool Halloween party and I wore a dress to the party. Not fancy dress a pretty dress. On Tuesday, I wore a smart dress to work, with fishnet tights too. How girly is that? Two dresses in one week!! AND Today I wore proper trousers and girl shoes AGAIN. What is happening to me? It is a marvel. It really is.

Thing is, I was out on Sunday after the zoo... jeans, plimsoles and a zoo shirt (for added class) and it was then that I got a bit of boy action. No dress, no heels required!

I'm liking the change towards the girliness, but I still like my plimsoles best and whatever anyone thinks, even girls in plimsoles can get kisses!

Please remember though, boys stink and kissing and all that should be treated with extreme caution.