Coming Soon...

...Video footage of one of my gigs!

Recorded last night, I now have to figure out how to get the moving pictures from the little camera box into the computer box and onto the world wide web... A job for the weekend... It wasn't a gig I particularly stormed, but I know you are all growing impatient. By "all", I refer to you tireless reader, yes you... you know who you are. So we shall start with average recorded performance and work up from there... Watch this space and think of it as a test!

I know I've been quiet for over a week now. Soz. I'm still tweeting like a lunatic, if you like your ramblings in bite size chunks.

But why have you been abandoned for so long? In my defence, last week I was quite busy. I did three gigs. Highly unusual I know - Party Piece, DSS and Cradley Heath. #85-87. You deserve proper gig reports, but I don't know that I have them in me.

Here is a snippit of the way things played out, with a small amount of pre amble...

You know how I've been fiddling about on that there OKCupid? Trying my hand at dating and all that. Well on Monday of last week, I met up with another young chap through the website and let's just say things went slightly differently to the picnic date. In the long run, no better than the picnic date, but differently.

This is completely uncool and there is no nice way to say it, but by Tuesday I had to go to Boots for Emergency Contraception. Listen and learn kids...

One night stands* can be cool. Each to their own. We don't judge here. I've had a few over the years.

Unprotected sex on one nights stands is most definitely not cool. I have no defence. I can't even be bothered to publicly apologise for myself or explain myself at this juncture. We'll accept it was totally stupid and move on with the story.

*Re Overnight Romances - I generally enter into these things in good faith that there might be an opportunity for a replay at some later date, so technically I don't really get to find out it was a one night thing until after... Taken to it's logical conclusion, it is only on the day I die that I get to tott up how many one nighters there were, as there may always be an opportunity for something to happen with any of those people again at some stage. Then of course, they are no longer one night stands, they become casual, if sporadic medium to long term flings! I can think of a few cases, where I've slept with someone a second time, even though I wasn't that keen, because in a crazy mixed up way, it made the first time seem more respectable.

Dear oh dear Joanne - What ever happened to two wrongs don't make a right?

Gosh, anyway, where were we?

Tuesday! Yes, on Tuesday I went to Boots, right before Party Piece, with my good friend Lucy, "Levonelle" was purchased. Then straight to the pub, downed the tablet with a large slug of Guinness and onwards with another night of fun. I like to experiment with my material at Party Piece because it is a nice friendly gig. I'm not sure Tom Webb always appreciates this approach, but when Lucy said to me before I went on "oh, you should totally tell them about the Levonelle" I agreed without actually looking for the funny part of the story. Turns out you really do have to search properly and find that funny when admitting to this kind of humiliation.

What ensued was a stunned silence that quickly spread across the room and me desperately trying to recover the situation with what increasingly felt like a bit of a comedy cul de sac. I tried not to over stay my welcome, changed subject towards the end, got a laugh or two on a much sillier more innocent note and left the stage.

OH!

Anyway, not one to be easily beaten, I got to thinking about my Levonelle escapades and I tried again talking about them at DSS on Wednesday with a lot less horror and marginally more comedy success. By Thursday, in Cradley Heath, it had worked into quite a nice little 'bit' of my set and got a few decent laughs. I like to think I'm putting the fun back into emergency contraception... Three days, three gigs and a nice way to see a bit of material progress from comedy carnage to something half decent.

And as I said at DSS ... join me next time, when we get to talk about the horror that is the trip to the sexual health clinic and other embarrassing repercussions of a night of wild abandon.

Actually, let's not do that. Join me next time for the video of gig 88 - recorded last night, at The Giggling Gibbon, where my drunk buddy Chris talked through every act's set and I barely got out of the venue alive after bringing such a drunken loon to the event...

Wish me luck with the camera/computer/internet technology...

PS - I think a lot of people are using OKCupid as a bit of a casual hook up site. On some levels this is proving to be fun, but I for one need to be a bit more careful about who I hook up with and work out if that is actually what I want...

I do enjoy searching out the freakiest of the freaks and sending their username to Lucy with ... your next boyfriend (insert username of freak) says hi ... That makes me smile a lot. Sound a bit cruel? Maybe, but we are not vain enough to imagine others do not do the same with our usernames. In fact, we'd be offended if they weren't.

Thanks all, I'm off to see if I can get some work done. Cheerio xx

Word of the moment - Clunge. So wrong. It had to be said though.