TODAY

Is my 100th stand up gig. That isn't until later though. Guess what else I'm doing today....

YES... Pre Flat Move Preparations. I'm sorting, tidying, shredding, throwing and packing up all my stuff.

I've admitted to friends that I'm doing 10 years worth of shredding this weekend. A lot of people have commented on how shredding is really tiresome, a few have said they find it therapeutic though. All have commented on how shredders overheat so easily and what a pain that is. Mine never overheats though. It jams so fucking often, it doesn't get a chance to overheat.

Shredding hey. I've been thinking about this. We shred to protect our identity, but if I was an identity thief, I'd wouldn't want the identity of someone anal enough to shred. I'd want to be someone exciting to whom the very idea of a shredder was laughable.

I'm doing a lot of sneezing too. It seems all my belongings are riddled with allergens! Gross...

OK, if anybody finds a living room floor, it is mine. I think I must have misplaced it under 10 years worth of electricity bills, payslips and smear test invitations.

Come to the gig later if you are in London Bridge, it is at Platform Bar, Tooley Street, Doors 7, Show 7.30. It is Funny Women competition heat.