Death of a Macbook

The insurance company has spoken. The macbook is "beyond economical repair". That people means it is dead. Poor old thing. I have shown it one last kindness and am having it's hard drive removed and turned into an external drive. Computer salvage ftw. It is like saving the soul I think or not having to reload all my cd's back into itunes. Not bad for sixty nine quid.

My new one is being delivered on Tuesday, oh yeah, the nice insurance people have bought me a new one. I already love my new one. I haven't even seen it yet, but I know I'll love it. It has 2 gigs of ram. and 2.2 giggerhurtz of something else. and 250 gigs of hard drive. I KNOW. You know I don't know, don't you? I know enough. It means it is big and fast, but actually the same size to look at as the other one. How do they squish it all in?

And whatever happened to giving me the money, so I could have gone and got a cheap rubbish laptop and a new TV instead?


Nope, I'm not complaining a new mac is very exciting... the delivery arrangement wasn't my best bit of planning ever as I'm also intending to get very drunk on Tuesday night, directly after work. Now I'll have my new baby mac to look after. I'm not leaving it at work. No way Jose.

With regard the OKCupid capers...

Norm, in the spirit of polite responses, I wrote to one of the people who had actually sent me quite an interesting email on OKCupid. I still didn't want to date him. He asked me about big cats at the zoo and I answered his question nicely and then said I probably wouldn't date someone 6'6" because I would look like a tiny freak next to them. He took it very well and we wished each other luck... Su, I think you are right about the ones that take it badly though. In general, I'm going to avoid talking to anyone I don't have to...

I've also been having an actual conversation (oh you know a computer kind of conversation...) with an OKCupid user. You'll have to give me a bit more time to f*ck that up and make a decent story out of it, but do watch this space...


Today's get involved question comes with a neat link to one of Giada's photos of me from the photo session... (because I know you're all itching to see more of them). Is this winky picture of me just a little tooo obvious for a free dating website?

It has a certain something. Two certain somethings maybe... I don't want to encourage any more wrong'uns.

Moving swiftly on...


What else of my week?


Just the one gig this week: DSS on Wednesday. I do keep really enjoying that gig. Was nice to catch up with Norm and Kalyi there too...

I have three viewings on the flat this weekend. This flat sale business is really dragging now. I just want to get my place under offer and get back to looking for Sprog's and I's love nest.

I have a form to fill in. You know, for work, so I'll leave it there for now.

Welcome new follower akuma. You can really expect standards and levels of excitement on the blog to really pick up once I get my mac back. Actually don't expect anything too much. That way, you'll hopefully avoid disappointment.

Interruption in Service.

Sorry my darlings. Things are a little up the preverbial shit creak at the moment.

On the matter of the public vote...

The votes have been counted... 100% of voters say I should continue with my online quest for love. (6 people have now expressed an interest in favour of me carrying on and it is 7 people really if you include Butterfly, who suggested I try OKCupid over Match. We must assume she is still in agreement...Thanks to Butterfly and PG for your website tips.)

I will not question all of your motives in voting yes to me continuing with these OKCupid adventures. I know you have only my best interests at heart and it has nothing to do with the promise of funny dating stories. And so we press on.

Or do we?

After the initial excitment and controversy of my first OKCupid missive, it has been a slightly slower few days in the world of my online love hunt. There has been no wind breaking (well not in a saucy way any how). I have not been swept off my feet and whisked away to a Love Nest in the South Pacific or some other exotic location. As I say, slow progress, or was I hoping for too much too soon?

I did get a few more classic messages from people on the website. I will share those with you, in due course. Unfortunately disaster has struck. Yes, both blogging and hunting for love have been severely impeded by my macbook dying. Yes RIP Macaroon. I never ever called the mac macaroon when it worked, just suddenly I felt it should have had a pet name. I say that it died, but it actually fell foul of a serious case of mac-slaughter at the hands of my kitty.

Now I'm not saying that Lucy knocked that Guinness onto the computer on purpose. That would be absurd. But lets face it she likes things just the way they are and who can blame her... Our happy trio, Mornington, Lucy and I, we fit just nicely in that double bed of ours... (and the fish - they don't hang out in the bed though...) It would be in her best interest to prevent me finding love and happiness or even a special fun buddy via OKCupid. Who could blame her for conspiring against this ridiculous plan... As far as she is concerned a man is absolutely, no questions asked, surplus to requirements.

You could ask why I'd parked my Guinness right next to the computer in the first place. And to that I say: Shut up. This is not important to the story. Must you be such a continual nit-picker? The cat is to blame!

So, I am scuppered for a few days at least. I hope to have the computer repaired or replaced in the not too distant future. I know I sometimes blog from work too (like now) and if possible I'll even do my online dating from work, but unfortunately this abuse of the organisation's time and resources is not always possible. For this week at least, I need to feign interest and look busy, while our entire care management system is replaced. Oh what fun...

For now I am away to be weighed at Weight Watchers. Wish me luck and I'll see you soon with a full update on the OKCupid situation and hopefully more user involvment and multiple choice options for how I should live my life. :-)

For the comedy fans. Panic not, I haven't given up comedy to pursue romance full time, I just didn't have any gigs booked this week and although that is terrible planning and not ideal for my progression, I'm secretly very grateful. My lip has erupted in a big old cold sore and I wouldn't like going on stage looking scabby anyway. You know actually scabby rather than just a bit of a scruff, like my usual stage image requires. Did I mention Gig 77? It was at Desperately Seeking Stagetime and I had a grand old time...

Oh, I've also seen some of my photos from Saturday's photo shoot, so I'll have to share some of them with you as I go along... Here is a taster. One that family and closest friends liked best so far...

Take Care People. xx

A bit of a favour... Please.

Firstly, a warm welcome to my new follower Jack - Hi... Thank you for following. This favour may not apply to you so much, but join in if you fancy...

For those of you who have known me a little longer, you might find it easier to help with this... you might find it more difficult, but I know you love a challenge...

So, here's the thing - I'm biting the bullet and next weekend, I'm having photos taken. Photos of me. How did I reach this terrifying descent into the world of vanity and self obsession? The back story is fairly simple: last year I was asked for a photo of myself for a charity gig I was doing. (yes admittedly, this has only happened once so far in my 18 month open mic comedy career...) Nevertheless, it happened! When (if) it happens next time, I'd like to have a proper photo to give the promoter.

At the time, I provided a photo taken in the pub. My hair dresser took the picture for me, just after he had done my hair. Yes, I met my hair dresser in the pub. He doesn't cut my hair at the pub, we do that round his house, then go to the pub to show off the new do straight after. He works in a proper salon in the day time and is a friend as well as someone I know from the pub.

Anyway, back to this photo situation. I liked that photo. I've even posted it for you here, but it is already on facebook and twitter, so not a massive surprise.

It obviously isn't a professional shot, which is what the other three comics on the bill of the charity gig were able to provide. So, I'm having some taken and it is happening a week from today. Giada (who'll be taking the pics) has said it should be fun, but I'm reserving judgment on that until I can see if she can capture me without my eyes drifting off in all directions and me generally looking like a mong. As if I weren't anxious enough about my first (and probably last) photo shoot, I've been asked to do homework before I go! Yes, homework and this is where you come in. Below is an extract from an email from Giada. See what you think:

"unless you already have very specific ideas about what kind of photos you want, I'd suggest this exercise... think of 3 adjectives to describe your act. Maybe ask some friends too as your perception can be different from how the audience sees you.* This will give us a starting pont to identify your voice on stage and try to represent it in the photos"

This reminds me of the Walking Tall personal branding course I went on. Hmmm, that was fun too. Even asking for these words seem incredibly vain, but can you help? If we all come up with depressed drunk cat woman, perhaps I'll cancel the photo shoot and chuck myself in the Thames instead.

I don't think you'll let that happen. Will you? Please - 3 words each, be honest, but not too honest. Put them in a comment here, in an fb message, in an @Oggers76 tweet or in an email, depending on how well you know me and if you have a blogger account or are just passing by...

Oh, if you haven't seen my act, you could still have a bash at this, base your answers on as little or as much as you might have read in the blog. It could all help.

Mucho thank yous in advance people.

At the very least, good or bad - there will be more pictures in this blog at some stage soon!!

While I've been writing this post, that NHS advert about 'drink can do damage you can't see'. Honestly, sometimes I wish the NHS would fuck right off and I haven't even had a drink since Wednesday.