Horoscope Horrors

Now I am pleasantly superstitious and interested in all kinds of spooky unworldly business, but when I read my horoscope, I do so with an air of healthy cynicism and only really read it for fun.

Sometimes when you read them, all the signs say pretty much the same old tripe. I used to read my horoscopes online and someone had obviously devised a computer programme to arrange trite expressions into five line paragraphs, so that some days it didn't even make sense and chunks of it could be repeated randomly from month to month or week to week.

Sometimes my mate Chris and I read them together, we are both Cancer and if we don't like what we find there, we choose another sign for the day.

Let's just say, I don't take it too seriously...

What if though, one day just out of the blue and by sheer bloody coincidence my star sign said something a bit close to the bone? What if my horoscope by sheer chance was telling me something I'd been ignoring anyway? Yes, it is just a coincidence and is bound to work out that way by the sheer probability of reading them almost every day. However, if something makes sense, maybe one should stop and listen, however unlikely and unreliable the source is.

I didn't save the paper and I don't remember the exact wording, but yesterday's entry went like this:

However much you are attracted to someone, it is time to draw a line under it if you know they aren't really free. You are too much of an emotional sign to be on that treadmill.

Oh bloody hell, not the free papers as well. Get off my back people.

What if last year, I had accidentally got a tiny bit involved with someone who unbeknownst to me wasn't exactly single. Funny I don't ask those questions before hopping into bed hey? Had this happened, (and maybe it did, maybe it didn't...) when I did ask about their living arrangements and the best they could give me, was 'I'll tell you another time, I'd like to maintain an air of mystery.' I probably wouldn't have spoken to them for months. I probably would have let them know that wasn't cool. Nobody messes with me. Ha ha ha.

Well, maybe our paths crossed a few times and I don't like nasty atmospheres and I might have gradually become friendly again. What if I've just agreed to meet them for a drink again? What if I know it is a tacky, ugly stupid thing to do, but wtf, no other bugger wants to take me out, so why not?

Well no real reason to explain why not, I think there are untold reasons and we could get the comments section jammed up. Oh, I don't really know why I'm telling you this. I'm sweeping away the sense of disappointment at my lack of self respect and lack of moral judgment and going anyway.

I'm not 100% sure the person is still in a relationship. I think we can assume they still are and even if they aren't, it doesn't change the fact they have acted like a right see you next Tuesday in the past, so don't really deserve my company. * you know the amazing prize that is 'my company'.

Oh, well I'm still going.

They are Mr Wrong, not Mr Right.

Yep, still going...

Oh well, lets hope the drinks are tasty and the evening is fun :) It isn't for a while yet, so feel free to bombard me with judgments. Oh yeah, go for it. After all, the computer programme at the Metro Horoscope section already has...