My quest for love continues...

I had an OKCupid date with a man who stated 'rarely' as the frequency that he drinks on his profile last night. I did ask friends/loved ones/most of the interweb if this date was wise, well aware that I enjoy a drinkie considerably more often than rarely. Opinions were mixed. One might say, I was offered a cocktail of advice and after knocking back that cocktail, I decided to give it a go... I like drink, but I don't need it to have fun. *ahem* I DON'T!

We'd arranged to meet for a picnic in Regent's Park after my shift at the zoo. This was his idea and my only reservation was that if it rained, it would be a terrible idea, but it was a lovely day yesterday, so all in all it had potential.

From his pictures, it could have gone either way as to whether I'd be attracted when we met. Let us be honest, you can be selective with the pictures you choose to put online. I know I have been.

You can't tell until you meet someone if that special spark will be there. Hold on while I make up a name for him - John (imagination firing on all cylinders there). John didn't really get me sparking when we met. These things can develop over time, but my over all impression was - this wasn't sparking and was unlikely to be developing...

It isn't for me to say how John felt about me in return, let us give him the benefit of the doubt and say he thought I was a terrible horror.

Still he was keenly clutching his baguette and picnic we must!

We'd arranged to meet when the zoo closed at 5.30. John had texted to say he would be ten minutes late, so by the time we found a suitable spot in the park, it was getting on towards 6pm. Let us remind ourselves, we are still in April. Even on the brightest of days, the heat tends to go out of the sun around that time, so while John folded his leather jacket neatly up beside him and I laid out two of my jumpers for us to sit on/eat from, it was getting chilly already.

Top tip. Inviting someone for a picnic? Bring something to sit on. If not, at least don't be selfish about your jacket! Twat...

John was bringing savouries. I was bringing deserts. Besides his baguette. John had bought philadelphia cheese, some cheddar slices and two types of sliced meat. He said cautiously as he brandished his spicy sausage - "I couldn't remember if you were vegetarian or not." "I am" I said and he put away the salami again. Oh and he had a bag of dried papaya (?) and some cherry tomatoes, plus a bottle of apple juice for drinkies... I don't want to sound like a complete prick for judging his choices too harshly, so I won't. I'll be nice, it was a fairly decent picnic spread. I guess...

I brought a fruit salad (token health gesture), a small profiterole dessert and two fresh strawberry tarts. He remarked on how middle class I was for going to M&S. I don't get that. M&S make nice desserts. I'd made a special trip there during my zoo lunch hour. I'm sure John's corner shop do a fine line in diced papaya, it doesn't give me the right to judge his class. I think perhaps I took that as a challenge as I started swearing more from that point on.

We ate quickly. It got cold even more quickly and not wanting to seem like someone that scoffs then dashes, I suggested... with some degree of caution, we go for a coffee somewhere. Thinking - wouldn't it be lush - if he swerved us towards a pub for half a dozen pints or a nice bottle of pink wine or three...

Twenty minutes of walking later, (past several pubs) we found a Starbucks that was open. One skinny mocha and one hot chocolate later (what sort of man doesn't drink and doesn't like the taste of coffee either?) it was time to say our goodbyes. John was telling me about a comedy night on Tuesday that I might want to check out, but I was non commital as to whether I'd be able to make it.

John wasn't bad company. He had interesting things to talk about like stone masonry and ballroom dancing and his sense of humour wasn't too bad. Unfortunately for most of his jokes, I just said pardon, because he spoke fairly quietly, so that does rather take the edge off of a killer funny line ...having to repeat it. Poor chap.

Right before the date, a friend of mine, Caroline from the London Zoo Sunday A Team remarked how one really important thing for her with a potential partner was hygiene. I agreed, but remarked that perhaps we should take hygiene as a given and set our sights higher.

During our picnic, John told me that he was renovating his house and was between bathrooms. He relied on the pub across the road from where he lived for bathroom faciilties. I noticed a stamp on the back of his hand, presumably from the club he had been to the night before and asked if the pub let him shower there. He laughed and said he had previously been showering at the office he had worked at, but since leaving a fortnight ago to set up his own business, this had not been possible. It was unclear to me how long this bathroom situation had been going on and how long it would take to resolve. I almost choked on the chunk of baguette he had broken me off a few minutes earlier.

Life is a never ending learning experience and it seems even the simple things such as a date who washes cannot be taken for granted.

I'm glad in many respects that it was a dry date. After six to nine pints of strong lager or Guinnes, I can usually find more reasons to sleep with someone than I can after a plastic cup of apple juice and a mocha. Waking up at half past three in the morning, round John's place and dying for a pee before realising all John has to offer me is the kitchen sink or a bucket in the corner would have been far from an ideal end to a chilly picnic in the park.

Onwards and upwards as they say...

I got this message on OKCupid today: "Please don`t think of me as shallow but i think you are incredibly beautiful. If your personality matches you must surely be a dream come true. no its not just a cheesey and bad atempt to chat you up. I like to say what i think. Yes i do some times put my foot in it."

I think this person not only sounds shallow and cheesey, I think he sounds like a complete liar. He has an even sketchier grasp on grammar than I have. I'll ask if he washes regularly and see where we go from there...