Grumpy Day

I'm having a grumpy day. I guess you don't really need to know that. I bet you are wishing I wouldn't harp on about it. Soz.

I cancelled the drinks with 'air of msytery - not exactly single - non gender specific Mr Wrong'.

Do I feel cleansed? Do I feel empowered? Do I feel liberated?

No.

I don't think cancelling the drinks and the bad mood are necessarily connected though. I do feel ever so slightly unhinged. A danger to myself and others and who knows what could happen next?

Something good hopefully. Watch this space people. x

OKCupid - A very quick update...

On OKCupid you can answer questions publicly or privately. I didn't quite see the point in answering questions privately, so I've been merrily answering all sorts of questions (over 130 now) and all of them publicly. (The questions, I've mentioned previously, are designed to find out about a person and improve the matches the system makes for you...)

I really got into the swing of it. Clicking away in a happy land of mulitple choice fun...

If you have favourite users added or even just people that you have contacted (or anyone really that might vaguely be a match for you - from what I can work out), they get news of your profile updates and most recent questions fed to their OKCupid home page.

Imagine my surprise when one of my favourites told me that the question I answered - "Do you know what sperm tastes like? - Jo answered Yes", had become front page news. Well, it got him chatting...

Whatever works I guess...

SHAME.

Sorry Mum!

Another I Can Haz moment...

I almost shit myself laughing at this picture courtesy of icanhascheezburger. The similarity between this cat and my lovely chubster Mornington are frightening. So cute.

Horoscope Horrors

Now I am pleasantly superstitious and interested in all kinds of spooky unworldly business, but when I read my horoscope, I do so with an air of healthy cynicism and only really read it for fun.

Sometimes when you read them, all the signs say pretty much the same old tripe. I used to read my horoscopes online and someone had obviously devised a computer programme to arrange trite expressions into five line paragraphs, so that some days it didn't even make sense and chunks of it could be repeated randomly from month to month or week to week.

Sometimes my mate Chris and I read them together, we are both Cancer and if we don't like what we find there, we choose another sign for the day.

Let's just say, I don't take it too seriously...

What if though, one day just out of the blue and by sheer bloody coincidence my star sign said something a bit close to the bone? What if my horoscope by sheer chance was telling me something I'd been ignoring anyway? Yes, it is just a coincidence and is bound to work out that way by the sheer probability of reading them almost every day. However, if something makes sense, maybe one should stop and listen, however unlikely and unreliable the source is.

I didn't save the paper and I don't remember the exact wording, but yesterday's entry went like this:

However much you are attracted to someone, it is time to draw a line under it if you know they aren't really free. You are too much of an emotional sign to be on that treadmill.

Oh bloody hell, not the free papers as well. Get off my back people.

What if last year, I had accidentally got a tiny bit involved with someone who unbeknownst to me wasn't exactly single. Funny I don't ask those questions before hopping into bed hey? Had this happened, (and maybe it did, maybe it didn't...) when I did ask about their living arrangements and the best they could give me, was 'I'll tell you another time, I'd like to maintain an air of mystery.' I probably wouldn't have spoken to them for months. I probably would have let them know that wasn't cool. Nobody messes with me. Ha ha ha.

Well, maybe our paths crossed a few times and I don't like nasty atmospheres and I might have gradually become friendly again. What if I've just agreed to meet them for a drink again? What if I know it is a tacky, ugly stupid thing to do, but wtf, no other bugger wants to take me out, so why not?

Well no real reason to explain why not, I think there are untold reasons and we could get the comments section jammed up. Oh, I don't really know why I'm telling you this. I'm sweeping away the sense of disappointment at my lack of self respect and lack of moral judgment and going anyway.

I'm not 100% sure the person is still in a relationship. I think we can assume they still are and even if they aren't, it doesn't change the fact they have acted like a right see you next Tuesday in the past, so don't really deserve my company. * you know the amazing prize that is 'my company'.

Oh, well I'm still going.

They are Mr Wrong, not Mr Right.

Yep, still going...

Oh well, lets hope the drinks are tasty and the evening is fun :) It isn't for a while yet, so feel free to bombard me with judgments. Oh yeah, go for it. After all, the computer programme at the Metro Horoscope section already has...

The theatre

I wrote this on OKCupid, but thought you'd be livid if I didn't share it with you too. Lots and lots has happened since I parted company with my dead macbook, then got my new macbook with absolutely nothing on it... I haven't found love on OKCupid yet, but I do have 70% of a profile now and I'm filtering through the weirdos a bit more easily as time goes on.

We had Nan's funeral last week, which was a sad day, but it was a nice send off. Not much more to say about that really. Oh, it turns out my cousins share my fascination with ghosts and ghouls. Funny old world!

I've done 81 gigs now. Norm is way ahead on something like 87, so go Norm, but it is all good. I spent all weekend doing work for free. Friday and Saturday nights - free bar work for The Comedy School and Sunday - free customer service for London Zoo. I like helping people and feeling useful, but am getting to the point where maybe I should think about finding ways to do that and make a bit of cash or choose something that also helps myself at the same time.

OK, I didn't write any of that bit on OKCupid, that is exclusively for you by way of introduciton. This was what I wrote for OKCupid today...Just now... about the theatre, as the title above would suggest:

I went to the New London Theatre tonight to see WarHorse. I went with my Mum and Dad. My Dad said on the way in... "Isn't this the place we came to see those blue blokes?" "Yes", said my Mum. "Oh, so it is" say I...Turns out my parents have better memories than me and I really enjoyed The Blue Man Group too. More so, than Avatar, which I saw in Stratford and not with Mum and Dad and even though I saw that in 3D, I still understand that 3D movie is different to theatre...

I really enjoyed the Performance tonight too. Those horses were absolutely amazing. I didn't think you'd feel emotional about fake horses, but they do such a good job with them, in the end you really feel involved. Mind you, I get emotional at most adverts. Sorry, I should clarify, I'm not here to review the production, just give you a little sum up of a night out...

In the interval I was fishing around in my bag for my purse to buy ice cream and my purse wasn't there. Weirdly enough, I hadn't made it out of the office for lunch today and so couldn't actually remember seeing the purse since yesterday when I stopped at the petrol station on the way home from the zoo. No point in panicking, but no ice cream for me tonight... I'd look for the purse when I got home and cancel my cards if need be after that.

When I said goodbye to Mum and Dad outside the theatre, Mum asked me to text her and let her know if I found my purse or not. Yes, fine I'll do that. Then just as I'm walking off, they both say - "See you on Sunday". "Oh, are we?" I mutter, bemused. I've clearly forgotten something else that they've remembered... I know I'm seeing them next Tuesday for comedy at the O2, not Sunday as well? I love my parents, but once a week is usually just about enough family fun. "Andrew is coming over, everyone is coming over. It's a big one. We're cooking. You remember" says Dad. I do remember, (after some prompting) and of course I'll be there. I've obviously already promised I'll be there. It just means I can't get as hanging drunk on Saturday night, behind the bar for The Comedy School now... Ho Hum.

I thanked them for a lovely night and bimbled off to get my tube home.

I stopped and checked my car on the way into the flat. My purse was there as plain as day on the passenger seat. A bit like in one of those crime prevention adverts, the really sad ones where the car gets broken into because some nit wit has left a laptop or a phone on the seat, except today, my advert had a happy ending, a bit like WarHorse did ... Ooops sorry, plot spoiler alert. I can confirm. No purses get stolen during the play WarHorse. Not on stage at least.

Last minute Blogger Edits in italics. Can you tell I've written it for an audience who don't really know me? I hope they liked it anyway. I hope you liked it too...

I LOVE MY NEW MAC

I LOVE MY NEW MAC. I LOVE MY NEW MAC. I LOVE MY NEW MAC.

MORE LATER XXXX

Death of a Macbook

The insurance company has spoken. The macbook is "beyond economical repair". That people means it is dead. Poor old thing. I have shown it one last kindness and am having it's hard drive removed and turned into an external drive. Computer salvage ftw. It is like saving the soul I think or not having to reload all my cd's back into itunes. Not bad for sixty nine quid.

My new one is being delivered on Tuesday, oh yeah, the nice insurance people have bought me a new one. I already love my new one. I haven't even seen it yet, but I know I'll love it. It has 2 gigs of ram. and 2.2 giggerhurtz of something else. and 250 gigs of hard drive. I KNOW. You know I don't know, don't you? I know enough. It means it is big and fast, but actually the same size to look at as the other one. How do they squish it all in?

And whatever happened to giving me the money, so I could have gone and got a cheap rubbish laptop and a new TV instead?


Nope, I'm not complaining a new mac is very exciting... the delivery arrangement wasn't my best bit of planning ever as I'm also intending to get very drunk on Tuesday night, directly after work. Now I'll have my new baby mac to look after. I'm not leaving it at work. No way Jose.

With regard the OKCupid capers...

Norm, in the spirit of polite responses, I wrote to one of the people who had actually sent me quite an interesting email on OKCupid. I still didn't want to date him. He asked me about big cats at the zoo and I answered his question nicely and then said I probably wouldn't date someone 6'6" because I would look like a tiny freak next to them. He took it very well and we wished each other luck... Su, I think you are right about the ones that take it badly though. In general, I'm going to avoid talking to anyone I don't have to...

I've also been having an actual conversation (oh you know a computer kind of conversation...) with an OKCupid user. You'll have to give me a bit more time to f*ck that up and make a decent story out of it, but do watch this space...


Today's get involved question comes with a neat link to one of Giada's photos of me from the photo session... (because I know you're all itching to see more of them). Is this winky picture of me just a little tooo obvious for a free dating website?

It has a certain something. Two certain somethings maybe... I don't want to encourage any more wrong'uns.

Moving swiftly on...


What else of my week?


Just the one gig this week: DSS on Wednesday. I do keep really enjoying that gig. Was nice to catch up with Norm and Kalyi there too...

I have three viewings on the flat this weekend. This flat sale business is really dragging now. I just want to get my place under offer and get back to looking for Sprog's and I's love nest.

I have a form to fill in. You know, for work, so I'll leave it there for now.

Welcome new follower akuma. You can really expect standards and levels of excitement on the blog to really pick up once I get my mac back. Actually don't expect anything too much. That way, you'll hopefully avoid disappointment.

Interruption in Service - ongoing...

My laptop was removed today by the insurance company. They will inspect it and either repair or replace according to what is possible and cost effective. It seems we must wait at least another week until I can really get back into the swing of OKCupid and more importantly, back into the swing of this blog.

I have been checking, but not able to fully engage in OKCupid. Some ordinary enough men have sent me some quite nice messages.

These are not men I wish to date.

I am ignoring their messages.

Is that a bit harsh?

It is partly because replying from my Blackberry is near impossible and it isn't always easy to hang about on dating websites in work. Mostly though it is because entering into polite banter is all very well, but somewhere down the line, I see myself having to say - No, I do not wish to meet you and then it could all just get a bit awkward...

Why even waste the time with the polite banter?

I guess it is open to interpretation in terms of what people are on the website for. I think I would rather just think I am aloof than a tease.

I've been doing lots of different things in the last week or so as well.... I did a few minutes of comedy at Pearshaped last Wednesday (gig 78, that was nice). I had a fun packed weekend including two very different days at two very different zoos and a day on a clowning course... but I can't tell you about any of that, because it is 5.50 pm and my flat is being viewed at 7pm.

Bye for now. I'll try and drop by again, later this week.

Hugz xx

Interruption in Service.

Sorry my darlings. Things are a little up the preverbial shit creak at the moment.

On the matter of the public vote...

The votes have been counted... 100% of voters say I should continue with my online quest for love. (6 people have now expressed an interest in favour of me carrying on and it is 7 people really if you include Butterfly, who suggested I try OKCupid over Match. We must assume she is still in agreement...Thanks to Butterfly and PG for your website tips.)

I will not question all of your motives in voting yes to me continuing with these OKCupid adventures. I know you have only my best interests at heart and it has nothing to do with the promise of funny dating stories. And so we press on.

Or do we?

After the initial excitment and controversy of my first OKCupid missive, it has been a slightly slower few days in the world of my online love hunt. There has been no wind breaking (well not in a saucy way any how). I have not been swept off my feet and whisked away to a Love Nest in the South Pacific or some other exotic location. As I say, slow progress, or was I hoping for too much too soon?

I did get a few more classic messages from people on the website. I will share those with you, in due course. Unfortunately disaster has struck. Yes, both blogging and hunting for love have been severely impeded by my macbook dying. Yes RIP Macaroon. I never ever called the mac macaroon when it worked, just suddenly I felt it should have had a pet name. I say that it died, but it actually fell foul of a serious case of mac-slaughter at the hands of my kitty.

Now I'm not saying that Lucy knocked that Guinness onto the computer on purpose. That would be absurd. But lets face it she likes things just the way they are and who can blame her... Our happy trio, Mornington, Lucy and I, we fit just nicely in that double bed of ours... (and the fish - they don't hang out in the bed though...) It would be in her best interest to prevent me finding love and happiness or even a special fun buddy via OKCupid. Who could blame her for conspiring against this ridiculous plan... As far as she is concerned a man is absolutely, no questions asked, surplus to requirements.

You could ask why I'd parked my Guinness right next to the computer in the first place. And to that I say: Shut up. This is not important to the story. Must you be such a continual nit-picker? The cat is to blame!

So, I am scuppered for a few days at least. I hope to have the computer repaired or replaced in the not too distant future. I know I sometimes blog from work too (like now) and if possible I'll even do my online dating from work, but unfortunately this abuse of the organisation's time and resources is not always possible. For this week at least, I need to feign interest and look busy, while our entire care management system is replaced. Oh what fun...

For now I am away to be weighed at Weight Watchers. Wish me luck and I'll see you soon with a full update on the OKCupid situation and hopefully more user involvment and multiple choice options for how I should live my life. :-)

For the comedy fans. Panic not, I haven't given up comedy to pursue romance full time, I just didn't have any gigs booked this week and although that is terrible planning and not ideal for my progression, I'm secretly very grateful. My lip has erupted in a big old cold sore and I wouldn't like going on stage looking scabby anyway. You know actually scabby rather than just a bit of a scruff, like my usual stage image requires. Did I mention Gig 77? It was at Desperately Seeking Stagetime and I had a grand old time...

Oh, I've also seen some of my photos from Saturday's photo shoot, so I'll have to share some of them with you as I go along... Here is a taster. One that family and closest friends liked best so far...

Take Care People. xx