Tuesday Blues.

It is WW tonight. I'm expecting more disappointing news. grrrrrr. OK, so I could have tried harder with the point counting and the being more active and drinking less booze and eating less burgers. I could have tried. I should have tried. Ah f*ck it, who really cares.

Perhaps I'm approaching this all wrong, but I think my life had enough disappointment in it without adding to my problems with fat club. I think Sproglet will be going it alone before long. God I can't let my Sprogs down. I did join for a reason. I do have spare poundage that I should be trying more to shift. But, while I'm on the subject of Sproggles...

I'd like to thank my special Becki Sprogs for being a sweetie and coming over to drag me out of myself and out of the pit (flat) for a walk around Leyton Shallow Ponds yesterday. We ate healthy snacks before we went and only had one pint of Guiness after two laps of the "lake".

Then we had dinner together as well (only 7 points) and watched soaps and Britain's Got Talent. I liked yesterday best out of all the days this b/h weekend.

We are going to a birthday do after WW. In the pub. Ha ha ha ha. Yay the pub ... Hooray for booze. Long live chubby drunks.

Christ on a bike, could I sound any more like Bridget sodding Jones. I will endeavour at some stage this week to get a freaking life. OK, maybe not this exact week, but at some stage in the near future. A life full of success and fancy parties. A life full of safe sex, prescription drugs and middle of the road rock and roll. Sorry reader, it can't always be award winning comedy. Hang on Bridge Jonesy probably was award winning comedy. I like her. She wears big knickers. Get over that!

Adventures of Oglet and MacEvoy

It would be incriminating and fool hardy to say when, where or how this all happened, but Uncle Barry (yes you saw him first as my online stalker...) well, Barry and I had reason to wind up spending a funny sunny day together very recently and these were a few images that came about as a result of that day.

You see, not entirely irresponsible - the first section of the day was spent doing a few personal administration tasks and errands around and about in the Walthamstow area. We went and found out about MOT's for my car (mine expired some 10 days ago now). This shot was taken just along the road from the MOT place where Barry found himself strangely allured by the tickle of the silver berch. 

Then onto the Vet surgery where I had to buy some special low fat cat food for portly cats. I go to Goddard Vets. This obviously reminded Barry of the link to our well known Goddard, or Oddard as he is fondly known. Here is Barry next to the sign at the vets. Barry nearly did himself a mischief for the sake of this pic and it was a close run thing that he didn't end up face down in the near by wheelie bins.

By means of self congratulation at such an industrious first half of the day we took ourselves off out for a drink or three later on. We sat in the sun and had lovely long chats about this and that and realised we had a lot going for us Barry and I. See how happy we are together. Would a MacEvoy-Oglet union be such a terrible idea?

Thanks Barry for a lovely day out. I promised pictures, but most of what happened that day will remain Barry and I's special times, so I've gone easy on the detail.

Watching The Weight Gain.

For those of you who were terrified that I'd join WW and waste away to nothing. Panic not. I had put on half a pound at the dreaded weigh in last night.

See, I told you I had a lovely time at the Ritz and in Bath. The proof really is in the pudding :)

I AM GETTING BACK ON TRACK THIS WEEK. I AM GETTING BACK ON TRACK THIS WEEK. mmmm WW Mantras.... I'll be counting my points and going gymmy and drinking less. Ha ha, ok I probably won't be drinking loads less, but I'll try to drink a tiny bit less and not get so twatted that I have to eat tons of post booze junk food, so compounding my alcohol related calorie issues.

Sproglet has lost eight pounds in two weeks! WHAT A SUPER STAR... I must try harder!!!

Where did Uncle Barry go?

He never writes, he never calls. Its mysterious. It truly is! I bet he is busy with some important science stuff or some business venture or other.

In other matters.

Mum's Birthday...

Following on from the visit to the Ritz, there was the family jolly to Bath at the weekend... I feel it fairly safe to say myself and everyone in the family had a super time. It was lush. Sorry I didn't take any photos. Well one, where my Dad, my Bro and the baby are all admiring some ducks, but it isn't really that good. I ate like food was going out of fashion and it was just a generally lovely weekend.

We spent Saturday at Stourhead, a National Trust Property. Yeah, I yawned at the thought too, but it was actually pretty lovely and we were reasonably lucky with the weather. The rain held off for us to have a good old mooch about the beautiful grounds and lake and the place was in full bloom. The air was heavy with the scent of the various big flowery bushes. There was even a grotto and a "nymph of the grot." I liked that, it sounded like the type of nymph I'd be.

Saw a bit of Bath on Friday afternoon/Sunday morning, but it was mostly just about nice meals and good company. Turns out my family aren't that bad after all.

Comedy this week...

I'm doing a Pete Park Walker gig in Archway tonight. I notice a strange eerie silence from other comics about the evening and it is questionable as to whether or not there will be an audience. PPW is such a nice bloke that I still feel keen to support him in his comedy exploits, but if tonight is a shambles, I may be giving future nights a bit more of a wide berth. I'm struggling with the such a nice bloke concept even if it might be that he isn't cut out for comedy promotion. Hmmm.

On Wednesday, I'm at the Green Man in Fitzrovia for a Get Happy gig. These gigs are usually very nice, but last time I went to a Wednesday one in Fitzrovia (just to watch) it was called off, again due to lack of audience. (Even good gigs get pulled sometimes.) The only audiences were Sprogs and I then! Hopefully that won't be the case this time. I can highly recommend this cheery fun comedy night, if anyone is floating around the Goodge Street area.

Fat club tomorrow.

Aaaaah, Not expecting good news. I have lived the life of a merry fat person pretty much every day since last Tuesday's meeting and expect the weigh in to confirm that! As of Wednesday this week, I will endeavour to embrace the WW way with a bear hug of commitment not yet witnessed by healthy eating specialists in the modern world. I might start keeping the tracker and counting points again - at the very least! Maybe I'll have a salad or something before going to the pub.

I'm off now. Time to finish a few work type bits before heading to sunny Archway. Fun, fun fun!!

Rod Stewart

I saw Rod Stewart having tea at the Ritz. Yeah, me and the Rodster like that *crosses fingers in gesture of familiarity* Actually, I was the first of twelve in our group (big fambly celebration of momentus birthday for Mumma) to say Rod just walked in. Nobody believed me and when I doubted my own sighting and saw a lookylikey, but not Rod in Rod's group from across the Palm Court, I said oh no, maybe not. 

A bit later after we'd over indulged in crustless sandwiches and delicious tiny cakes,  I was sent by the birthday girl, My Mum after my 'Sister in Law to be' to help nappy change smelly bummed Niece. Hastily following the nappy change pair, I checked across the room and I saw Rod really was there after all.  I tripped down the last of three stairs into the lobby in my excitement. Yes, in full view of everyone enjoying their tea. Get over it, it was only a little trip!! I almost wish I'd done a TJ Hooker style roll across the Ritz floor. When we returned with fresh nappy niece and confirmed our Rod sighting, all twelve people started shifting into eyeline and staring un-necessarily in his direction. Shame!! 

It is cool though. My Dad is a huge Rod fan. I was so chuffed to have been the first to notice his old time all time Rock Idol :o).

Tomorrow the celebrations continue with a weekend in Bath. It is Mummy's 60th, so she is properly milking it... I have to be up dead early. Blaaaa. Once I've met my parents tomorrow before 10 am, I might relax for the first time this week.

Gig tonight cancelled. No one there. Again. I have put a curse on The Long Room it seems. Sorry Long Room. Hope curse lifts soon. I'll do my voodoo chants nightly.

Bringing the house down/The Weigh In.

I had a gig last night. It went really well, friends from Sidcup came to see me, which made me very nervous. I've known one pal since I was 11 and the rest since I was 16 or so, so I didn't want to make a complete tit of myself. They seemed genuinely surprised that I was any good which was nice. 

They did only have four other acts to compare me to, as something in the kitchen above the pub caught alight, started a blaze and we had to be evacuated half way through the show, so I was glad I'd asked for the third spot. Also got hand shakes, praise and thanks from strangers during the evacuation and in the post evacuation pub of choice ... mmm drink it up: Lovely comedy compliments :) Thats why I keep doing it! 

Last night was at least my 4th consecutive night of drinking and as you can imagine, the weight watchers was all feeling a bit of a shambles. I spent all afternoon today wondering how many more trips to the toilet I could physically make to empty my body of every last drop of moisture in an attempt to minimise my embarrassment when it came to tonight's weigh in. All that peeing was worth it. I'd lost 2.5 lbs. I think it was a bit of a fluke and was bloody shocked. 

I realise I have to lay off the booze a little bit if I can sustain any weight loss beyond week 1. I'm having a single solitary booze free day today. Tomorrow, Thursday, Friday and Saturday are all set to involve eating out/drinking or both as it is my Mum's week to celebrate turning 60. (yes we have to celebrate three times!) Thursday isn't a 60 celebration day, but I am gigging then.

Re the gig... Little bit concerned. There are only three of us on the bill. How long a set is this promoter expecting for Christ's sake?

Got to go, chores to do and zero point soup to make now. I will endeavour to celebrate responsibly and not ruin the pee induced weight loss of this week.

Special Secret Dream Postings...

*whispers* shhhhh

I had a dream last night that I was involved with (in the romantic sense) the lovely funny charming Dave Gibson. I know. I'm actually crying tiny real tears as I type this, because dreams is it all will ever be. Well not that I've approached the subject with Dave, but that would end in big tears if I know my luck. Silly ain't I? I barely know the poor chap.

It was a lush dream though. It has made me all nostalgic, it reminds me of the dreams I used to have about the ex I never quite got over. Last night's dream (as with the ones featuring the ex) was set in parts in a non-specific shared house. The only time I ever lived in a shared house was in University. A long time ago. My dreams often play out in them though. The dream wasn't rude, I can't even remember any kissing or owt, I was just Dave's girlfriend in it in a really cosy happy way. 

I kind of half woke from the dream, disappointed to realise I was in my flat and I was all alone, but somehow like in those rare special dream moments I found my way back to sleep and back to the dream for a bit more time as girlfriend Gibson. There was some boring plot about lost mobiles/disappearing caravans - ha ha ha. I only just remembered, OK, yeah, the plot wasn't that dull, in fact it was quite funny (peculiar) ...

... At one stage I'd been staying in a caravan!?! Dave and I went back to the field where my caravan should have been and the owner of the land had had my van removed. At this point, I pinched myself that the lovely funny charming Dave Gibson would even consider going out with someone who was essentially a gypsy*, a caravanless gypsy at that! (ahem - self image issues?) He seemed perfectly ok with it all though. 

Where the caravan had been, the owner had left my purse and my mobile and possibly a few other key items one wouldn't want to be without. That was a relief for me. Never mind that most of my other possessions had been in that caravan. Or had they?  I never quite know where I live in dreams. I often have more than one home and worry about forgotten pets or why is that other home sitting empty now??? Am I paying rent and a mortgage? What the feck?? So anyway, Dave and I set about finding out where the van and my belongings had got to. Perhaps the shared house bits were where he lived. Who knows. 

Being his girlfriend was the lush bit. It seemed unlikely in the dream even, but he seemed to be quite into me. Sweet. 

So what with the nostalgia triggered off about the ex I never quite got over, I've tapped into myspace and am playing the ex's music now. This is not emotionally productive. If anything, it is very emotionally destructive, but so what f*ckers. I can be melancholy on a Saturday morning if I want. "the broken family band" they nurture melancholy with the best of them. That is for certain!

The dreams about the ex, which were laced with the same - "surely he isn't mine? wow wow wow, oh please never let this happiness end" feelings -  used to end in me realising he had another girlfriend all along. Dreams - hmmm - they really are tightly tangled up in what happens in real life aren't they. (other than the blindingly obvious - neither of these men will ever be into me like they are in dream land.) 

I'm going to have to stop playing tbfb tunes now. It is starting to do my noggin in. 

*gypsy? bit un pc? ah well. traveller then - if you really must.

Weight Watchers

Ha ha ha ha ha. What a 'weigh' to fall off my WW Wagon.

DAY ONE - Yesterday

Well, I consumed 47 points yesterday. (I'm allowed 18.)

16.5 points went on booze and 23 went on Domino's pizza after the booze.

How fat is that? I wouldn't mind, I didn't even eat the whole pizza, although I did have garlic pizza bread with it!

So what. Get over yourselves - the lot of you... Must you judge me? I had to have that booze, It was hair cut day and doesn't everyone get trollied with their hairdresser as standard? I think everyone should. My hair dresser is often just a little bit drunk before he starts my barnet. I think it adds an element of thrill and excitement into the proceedings not available in most high street salons.

Here is how it turned out anyway:

I've been very good today. Only 8.5 points so far. I have points debt now, so not a lot of choice really... Even with hangover cravings for grease and pastries and any food. Mmmm food. I've been good and resisted temptation. Shame I didn't try that yesterday.

Never let it be said, that I'm not taking this WW venture seriously!

Anyway - I'm still in the office, which is most un-necessary. Someone has turned most of the lights off and the cleaner is hoovering around me. I think I shall head home for a low point dinner.

Cheerio xxx

Wednesday 6th May 2009. The Reluctant Blogger.

I don't want to blog today. It is six days since I last bothered though. So here are a few thoughts/happenings from this week.

• No comedy this week. Everyone needs a week off now and then.


• Joined Weight Watchers (WW) last night. I'm trying to lose a stone. To begin with that is, if I get that far, I may decide to carry on and try and lose some more. Hmmm, unlikely!! Thing is, if WW does help me lose a few pounds (14 or so), I'll be looking slim and cheery by the time Summer finally kicks in! Which is a nice thought... Sproglet, my WW buddy has set up a whole new blog to chart WW progress. I'm not sure if I can manage that. Maybe/Maybe not. Watch this space...


• Have had to engage with work a bit more this week. These things happen. MLP is all over my flagging/non existent productivity like a bad rash. It is still a struggle though. See this mid afternoon blog. I'm still very bored here.


• Having my haircut tonight. Any suggestions on styles, colours or the general look to go for?Too late, I am having it cut long and coloured straggly blond. First person to notice any difference when they next see me wins a prize.


• There is a massive spot growing right in the middle of my chin. Distressing or what?


• Remind me to tell you the story of the disappearing temp. Must go to a meeting now, so can't do it just yet. Its one of those disappearing temp stories we all love to hear though... Temps hey, you just can't trust them!

Today's Lolcat Funny: Can't think who this reminds me of??