LICKING MY WOUNDS ...

SO EVERY COMEDIAN DIES DO THEY? WELL DYING IS STILL EFFING HURTY!! Sorry I shouldn't yell and shout...

The Leicester thing has given me a dose of the wobblies. Well I think the Leicester thing and a few other goings onsies have collectively given me a dose of the wobblies if I'm honest, but I've had one of them days. 

There were the boring emails to friends droning on about my silly concerns, - Thanks and sorry friends....Then I had to send the quick email to Chris (beloved work colleague and friend of the gay variety) - "Lets get out of here for coffee" when I felt a little gush of tears on their way. I do know none of my worries are really proper worries to be taken seriously, but sometimes the old girly emotions get the better of me anyway and I have to just to go with the flow. For want of a better expression.   

As I say, the gig is only a part of it, but it doesn't seem to matter that "Every comedian dies" and "at least I can learn from it" and "I've known I need to write new stuff for a while, so this might be the boot up the bum I need". I know all that, but I'm still completely gob smacked at how terrible I was and bruised egos take time to heal too...

I'm also a tiny teeney bit disappointed with myself as instead of going to try out at the Amused Moose competition last night, I went to the pub with Sprogs and got tanked up on Grolsch. It was what I needed at the time though. I was in no mood to think of my two funniest minutes and be judged again. I was in no mood to think of any funny minutes of any sort to be fair...

We had a nice evening as it happened and if ever there was a story to make you realise - "things could be worse." We got drinking with one of the keepers. He was in the pub alone and as he is one of the more approachable zoo keepers, we asked him to join us. We learnt that he was drinking alone to avoid going home...

His ex-fiancée was at the shared ownership flat that neither of them could afford to leave, despite their relationship having ended a year ago. Shared ownership flats apparently very strict about sub letting and that kind of thing, so for various reasons they are trapped there together - (a sign of these credit crunchy times). I told him I'd read articles about just that sort thing, couples who can't afford to live apart after they have split up and he seemed ever so pleased to be part of a modern social phenomenon and learn that in many respects his suffering - is just a statistic. Anyway - The really horrible bit was that she (the ex) was at their flat with her new boyfriend. Ouch, that has to be miserable. 

A sad story indeed, which didn't unfortunately stop me feeling sorry for my comparatively silly problems and having quite a few "moments" today and using the whole thing as an excuse not to go gym. All I have is silly boys sending crappy texts with gentle rejections sads and gig sads and nothing actually substantial AT ALL to worry about, so I should get a grip. I will soon: I PROMISE :)

On a lighter note. I was stood at the bus stop this evening - head down, arsing about with a text to someone on the old phonage, when I thought I heard someone shouting my name. Huh, could it be? Someone wants to talk to me. Probably not... I looked up and there was the lovely Personal Trainer Roman looking rather delightful and quite pleased to see me. He asked if I'd been training and I said no, then explained I'd had a bit of a bad day and didn't fancy it. (I've got upset at the gym before and it is best avoided as it is very public.) 

Then even just telling him that, I had to fight not to get myself going again with the emotional-ness.... He said what I needed was fresh air and exercise and gave my a little, but quite hurty poke in the arm for my trouble - to emphasise his cheeky ways at trying to get me training even when I was feeling shite. A poke though - completely uninvited. It is perfectly clear from this small gesture - He can't keep his hands off me and as I'm sure you will all agree via the comments (I needs this people.) He is obviously in love with me. You can't blame him, his eyes aren't painted on... ;-)

Now it's time for tea. I got mountains of comfort food from the shop tonight. Mmmmm food. Mmmmmm. byeeee xxx.

PUNCTUATION SMILIES IN A BLOG? WTF IS THAT? YOU MAY ASK. I CAN IF I WANT. ITS MY BLOG, SO GET OVER YOURSELVES. 

Sorry was I shouting again? Food now. Definitely. xxx